If you had to chose
What would you say is more important, happiness or self-respect? The best way to really tell is to imagine yourself with only one. Would you give up happiness for self-respect, or would you be more willing to give up your self-respect to achieve happiness. What if one of them leads to the other and that is why you chose it.
As an individual attribute self-respect is the more noble choice of the two. Self-respect has been defined as possessing a proper respect for oneself as a human being, or regard for one’s own standing or position. Happiness, on the other hand, would come across as a goal to be reached, the result of some long term task. It is defined as a state of well being and contentment, a pleasurable or satisfying experience.
There isn’t any one of us that would deny the fact that we all wish to achieve real happiness. It is why we go to school, work hard, and build relationships. Happiness may not have been the initial reaction to the question of which is more important, but it would be a likely candidate for a number one goal.
Self-respect is an idea that we all hold dear and is yet so hard to hold onto. The possibility of it being snatched from our light grip plays with us daily. Every day, if self-respect is the most important, it is challenged by temptations in so many different aspects. We have to make decisions each day to stay true to this ideal that is oh so very slippery. Slippery not because it is not available, but slippery because self-respect can be compromised by a choice to be silent when you should speak up, sometimes it calls for silence when you want to yell. Can you be proud of the positions that you took today? Did you stand true to yourself no matter the cost? What would you give up for this idea of respecting yourself? Your job, your friends, your family relationships? These are all high costs for this noble choice.
My son is in the 4th grade. He has been homeschooled for most until this last year. He started public school and within the first week he experienced bullying for the first time. There was a little boy in his class and the other kids said unkind things to him and about him. They would trip him on the way to class, etc. This bothered my son deeply. When he disclosed the scenario he had witnessed, I informed him of his options and the consequences to those choices. He chose to go to the principle, instead of pretending not to notice it was going on. I was very clear that if he told, he would most likely be the next target. He went, fully informed of the potential, and pointed out the children that were doing the bullying.
He is only in 4th grade, and yet he knew, without the ability to verbalize it, that he would not be able to rest with himself knowing that he did not stand for what he knew was right. Could it be that his choice to respect himself also came from the same desire to possess happiness, or can you really know happiness without self-respect?
I think that self respect and happiness are tied together. Happiness can be something that is temporary, but if you have no self respect, then you could not really be happy with yourself. With self respect, you set standards for yourself, whether it is getting a degree, job, being honest, or whatever it is you want to set for yourself. Having self respect, you want to complete your goals. This usually means that your being optimistic about things, even though life may bring one down every once in a while, and being optimistic brings about motivation and a brighter side to things.
ReplyDeleteHappiness as a feeling may come and go, but being happy with who you are should be something that is there always. If you have self respect, I think you should be at a point in your life where you also happy with yourself. You push yourself, you focus on completing your goals and do not take what others say or think of you to heart. You let it slide off and push on.
I think the story you told of your son witnessing bullying and going to the principle shows he does have self respect. So, good job to you as the parent. I also think with him making that decision, he won’t look back and say he did the wrong thing. He can be proud of himself for doing the right thing, which I think being proud of you is a form of being happy with yourself.
I first have to say, that I'm sorry to hear that such a thing could happen to your son, my little brother had been recently bullied and he told my parents, and my siblings and myself of course, I was so saddened and angered that such a thing could happen to my little brother, my parents suggested for him to tell the teacher, fortunately he is not one to be pushed around for too long and take it without doing anything about it, so he stood up for himself and told the teacher, the little boy ended up in detention more like a week. The point is my little brother had self-respect and with that self-respect also came his happiness.
ReplyDeleteI am a true believer that with self- respect also comes happiness, respecting oneself will bring good things to ones life and that will lead to one being happy.
First off it was very unfortunate that your son experience an unpleasant incident during his integration into what is a new experience for him. It seems right in 3rd grade and 4th children tend to pick on others more frequently, as what happened to my daughter last year. She was being bullied and picked on constantly I have no what it is but none of the aids did anything when she told about the incidents. I was down to my last straw and about ready to tell my “Well if they continue then you have the right to defend yourself.” I know how terrible, but I was tired of seeing her coming home crying and being pushed around. I felt horrible but also for me, it became an issue of self respect not only for my daughter but for myself. They were not only pushing her around but also me. The aids and the administration, where was my self respect? And how could I help my daughter gain her self respect?
ReplyDeleteFinally I had enough and boarded the school bus told the bus driver and loud enough looking the other girls in question. My next step was contacting the school principle and school psychologist and letting them know I was really upset (pissed off, is the reality). Finally something must have registered up in their heads because the next day my daughter and the girls were called in and she finally got to have her day!
I believe it’s important to have self respect its defining of who we are, the confidence we receive to act and the gratification that follows, and I do not think that with out self respect for one self a person can separate the issue of happiness. When you have self respect its gratifying how could you not feel a sense of empowerment and happiness for it?